Saturday, December 3, 2016
It's a quiet and rainy morning. The house is warm and the sky is gray. A perfect time to read and reflect. This past week Eddie had two scans and on Tuesday we meet with the oncologist to find out if his cancer has grown or if the current chemo treatment continues to contain it. Tests and scans followed by meeting with the oncologist is a road we are familiar with as we have been walking it for almost three years.The anxiety and uncertainty that precedes the appointments are also familiar as the appointments bring us to a fork in the road and we don't get to choose which way we go. If the cancer has grown it leads us on the path of new treatments and wondering if we are closer to a time that Eddie will no longer be with us. Or will we get to continue walking the current path of his cancer being contained? This morning I was reminded of God's wisdom and faithfulness when reading Isaiah 42:16. "" My anxiety of not knowing which way we will be walking after Tuesday's appointment is eased in knowing that God knows what lies ahead and he will continue to be faithful to light the dark places and level the rough parts just like he has in the past. Deuteronomy 31:6 reminds me to, "Be strong and courageous; don't be terrified or afraid of them. For it is the Lord your God who goes with you; He will not leave you or forsake you." I may not get to choose the path ahead but I can choose to trust God's wisdom and faithful love and the promise that he always walks with us. And the choice to trust always brings peace.