It feels like we're in a holding pattern right now as we wait to find out if the chemo and radiation are shrinking Eddie's tumor and killing the cancer in his body. My faith can sometimes be like a yo-yo. The yo-yo is up and I remember that we are being firmly held in God's hand. But then doubt or fear seeps in and I feel like I'm twirling down on a thin piece of string. God doesn't let go. My perspective changes and life does seem to spiral down when I focus on my circumstances instead of God's promises and character. While we are in this holding pattern I push deeper into God's grace. Grace sustains us and when I choose to relax in God's grace I don't look for peace in test results.
Easter brings more of an awareness of the grace God gives to us through Jesus' death on the cross. This isn't just a Bible story. Through Jesus' death we not only gain access to heaven but we are given new life every day! There are days that I am unloving and impatient. I am flawed and I sin every day. We all sin in some way every day. Romans 5:20 tell us, "where sin multiplies, grace multiplies even more." That seems backwards to me and makes grace amazing. No matter what we do God's love for us never changes. Never changes! When someone is unkind to me or cuts me off in traffic, my "like" for them changes much less love. I don't want Jesus' death on the cross and God's grace to ever become so familiar to me that I am not awed by it. When they become familiar, I become self-reliant. And down goes the yo-yo.
We continue to feel your prayers. They are keeping us strong!